LMFAO
by Alex is Bills Kleiner Android
Summary: Bill and Tom go to a mall in a regular American town... they never expect to run into three of the craziest people in the US. Hysterically funny as long as you like others being embarrassed!


**LMFAO**

_TH oneshot… the title is for a reason…. Read and be afraid_

No one ever thinks about telepathy. Maybe among twins, but not friends, or others. This all started when the Kaulitz twins who are used to picking up signals from each other meet a girl who is used to projecting thoughts to her best friend, twins by the soul. This started when the twins decided that an American mall was the perfect place for a shopping trip.  
Alex, Collette, and Asha ran into the mall. In their usual fasion Collette and Alex ran right into the door frame. Asha laughed. Alex who was faster on the recover than Collette tripped Asha and she went flying. Alex checked her pockets checking for her iPod, phone, camera, and most importantly Asha's father's credit card. Asha franticlly searched her pocket for said card.

"Calm down suncricket I have the card!" Alex told her.  
"OH EHHHMM GEEE!" Collette screamed.  
"What is it Ennapode?"  
"IT'S A ZOMBIE!"  
"No, Collette, that's a manikin!" Asha said.

Bill stood in Hot Topic searching through the clothing. He was surprised at what he could find here. He was sifting through the jewelry. He spun round as a loud crash spun through the store. He saw a girl sitting on the floor covered in the glasses display. He couldn't help staring at her. She had bubblegum blue braided faux-hawk. Her clothes were just as eccentric an electric green shirt had an orange and a glass of orange juice and the orange was saying "mom?" her jeans were neon pink skinnies and she had a fluorescent yellow tutu. Two girls watched from the recesses of the store a she disentangled herself. One was taller and she had long dark hair, heavy eyeliner, black-cherry lipstick, a black skirt with silver hand cuff chains, a black and white graphic tee, black and white striped tights and several accesiories. Her companion had spider brown hair and wore deep gray skinny jeans, a black and white jack skellington shirt, and several other black, white and gray accessories. The girl in the glasses stood up and walked out. The two girls moved forward and bought about 200 $ dollars worth of Hot Topic clothing.

Tom was talking with girl in Deb. He would never have gone in if it weren't for the hot chick he was now talking to. She turned away as her friend walked in. He was starting towards the exit when a blue haired girl appeared in front of him.

"Do you think this fits?" she asked him. She was waving an electric yellow strapless bra in his face.

"Uhmm…" Tom said unsure as to what to say.

"Alex wont answer and Collette is afraid to come in!"

"Uh, sure it'll fit…"

"THAK YOU!" the girl hugged him and ran away. Tom made the exit as fast as he could.

"Helig schiesse!" Tom swore as he stepped out of the store and turned to see a girl in Zombie makeup with spider brown hair sitting in the corner. That wasn't the scariest even though Zombie looking people tend to be quite scary. The girl was toying with a pair of scissors and there was a razor blade on her knee.  
"He's cute," the girl said to herself or the scissors as she looked at Tom. "The scissors would cheat for him wouldn't they Ennapode?" She nodded and looked down.

Alex laughed at the astonished look on the ghetto boy's face as he 'met' Asha then Collette. She purchased her tee shirt and left the store. Asha caught up just in time to see Alex slice Collette with the razor she had stolen from Alex. The girls walked through the mall. Asha hyper and willing to talk to the strangers. Alex was her usual darkly cynical, and morbidly, perverted hilarious self. Collette trailed them both extremely annoyed by the prospect of shopping. They walked through the food court on their way to ShowBizz when Alex saw an emo guy. She stopped walking to stare. She looked away right before he looked at her. Collette had stopped with her but Asha had to run back.  
"What is it?" She asked Alex.

"That guy was hotttttt!"

"You are so AHHH!" Asha waved her hands in the air for emphasis.

"You know it!" Alex grinned.

"Where is that guys neck?" Collette asked as an extremely short and chubby guy walked by.

"I don't know where are they usually Collette?" Alex asked absently still preoccupied by the emo guy, she was trying o figure out how tall he was. He was evidently tall or was everyone else short?

"Well…" Collette started.

"OH MY GAWD!" Alex yelled at that. Her mind slipped into the darkness of the gutter.

"ALEX EWWW!" Asha said as Collette and Alex giggled maliciously.

"You love it," Alex said.

"You are so nasty!" Asha said exasperated.

"That was nothing!" Collette informed her blue haired friend.

"No it wasn't," Alex said smiling at Collette.

"I'm hungry!" Asha interrupted hoping to stall her friends' minds and get some food, she really was hungry.

Tom met up with Bill in the food court. Mall's weren't really such of a guy thing but it was nice to be free to wander alone. Food however was always a guy thing. The boy's ordered enough food for an army. All vegetarian of course. They sat together and both started to speak at the same time. They paused and suddenly a series of images flashed through there heads. The blue haired and Zombie girls, Japanese chicken, and a few other things.

"Did you think that?" Bill asked Tom.

"No I thought you did!"

"I didn't!" Bill said.

"Oh well, guess what happened!"

"What?"

"That girl with blue hair ran up to me and asked her if she thought the bra she was about to buy would fit her…" Bill started laughing.

"Well when I saw her she was sitting on the floor covered in glasses!"

"In what?"

"Glasses like the things that help your vision, only the fake ones, she knocked the rack down on herself.

"Niceee," Tom said laughing.

"I know!"

"I saw that Zombie girl sitting in the corner with scissors and a razor blade!"

"That's not strange at all," Bill said.

"I know it scared the shit out of me!"

Alex had finished her food and was now in Victoria's Secret. The group was after the lip gloss.

"I think we should get bombshells," Collette said laughing..

"I think Asha needs it the most," Alex said grinning wickedly.

"HEY!" Asha exclaimed. She was the smallest of the group. She was also a small A-cup to Alex's large C.

"What?" Alex asked innocently.

"I don't think they have my size," Asha said.

"They would, it's people your size who want them the most," Collette said forever logical.

"Don't worry they come in negatives!" Alex said laughing, forever ready with a sarcastic or scathing comment.

"I AM NOT THAT SMALL!" Asha protested as they searched for lip gloss or Asha and Alex searched and Collette picked a blood red one and back away slowly.

"Neither am I that's why they call me perky!" Collette said giggling evilly.

"WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO NASTY!" Asha asked horrified.

"This is nothing!" Collette and Alex said in perfect unison.

Bill and Tom were unsure what to do next. They didn't want to leave there was so much freedom here. So they sat and people watched. It was an interesting process since they hardly ever saw new people without being mobbed. They were glad to see the people in their normal actions it made them feel more connected when so much of the time they barely felt human.

Alex, Collette, and Asha ran through JC Penny's to the clearance section. They ransacked the racks and ran into the dressing rooms changing into their million different options. Eventually they settled on the clothes that actually fit. They headed out laughing at the receipt.

"We bought half the clothes in that section and spent way less than we did at Hot Topic." Asha said.

"This place isn't nearly as awesome as Hot Topic." Alex said.

"True that," Collette nodded.

"I am so hot!" Alex who was a little furnace complained.

"Then change!"

"Oh yea." Alex ran into the bathroom. She emerged wearing a red and black plaid shirt with graphic designs. It buttoned all the way…. Most of the way up.

Bill and Tom walked towards the door. They paused as they saw the girl's blue hair at the top of the escalator

"BILL IS SO MUCH HOTTER THAN TOM!" Alex said hands on hips.

"Never!"

"Bill is perfect Tom is a slut!"

"Tommi bear is perfect!" Collette yelled back.

"If you want to get raped!"

"Maybe I want to!"

"Well maybe you're a creep!"

"Maybe you're a dreamer!"

"I am a dreamer and what does that have to do with this? Bill is still the best!"

"NO!"

"YES!" Alex had taken enough of it. She lunged for Collette. Unfortunately Asha was in the way.

"HOLY SHIT!" Asha screamed as she tumbled down the escalator.

"Oops," Alex said stepped over a few steps and stepped onto the down escalator. She got to the bottom and looked up Asha who was currently falling down the up escalator…. FAIL. Asha would tumble a few feet then o up a few steps then tumble a few. She was slowly coming towards the ground. When she finally got to the bottom she just rolled to a stop. Alex watched her with mild concern. All concern dissipated as Asha stood up. Now it was Alex's turn to yell.

"OH SCHEISSE!" Alex yelped as the still dizzy Asha shoved her into the fountain at the mall's entrance. Asha fell back down. That was when Alex caught site of Bill.

"Oh," Alex's breath went out in a small gasp. Bill was busy checking to make sure Asha was okay. Normally that would have pissed Alex off but she was easily distracted… by her own brain and the things going on inside it. She was grinning her evil grin as Collette made it to the ground to complete the party.

"Alex…" Collette said in a warning voice.

"WAS ZUR HOLLE!" Tom screamed before collapsing on the ground. His mind had synced up with Alex's. The images inside her head while very nice for her could scar the bother of the man in the images for life. Bill might have caught the wave if he wasn't intent on being a caring person. Asha groaned and stood up. Her head was spinning but she kicked Tom lightly.

"Are you okay?" No answer, she kicked him again. Alex sighed her wonderful delusions interrupted she went to stand up. The shirt that buttoned most of the way up stretched out and the top button popped loose. Bill turned at that exact time. Alex tried to pull her shirt shut over her to full

cleavage. Bill's eyes went wide.

"Woah," Tom woke up as the image came from Bill's mind into his. He rolled over and looked up. Alex's already thin t-shirt was socking wt and she couldn't get her button to refasten. Collette was laughing at Alex so hard she stumbled. She stepped in the puddle forming around Alex and fell. Automatically she reached out for something to strop her fall. the first things her hands touched was Tom's pants. They went down with her. Collette looked up from her spot on the floor at Tom, or Tom's Boxers…

"Hello!" Collette said in a sexy voice. Tom laughed and pulled up his pants.

_Authoress Note_

_OKAY I KNOW YOU LOVED IT!_

_All of you review or I shall stop writing ANYTHING!_

_I shall leave your imaginations to do the rest of the story telling._


End file.
